Don't look now...
Auto-pilot.......
So many parts of my life feel as though some other person, force (God) has the reins and I can do little but remain a spectator. I don't suspect that I am complaining entirely but it is, to say the least, highly intriguing.
My life has been an experiment in failure, railing against impossible odds and social climbing for most of the last seven years. But in the last few months since I abandoned my pursuit of a life and career in Washington, DC, my life has taken on a whole new feel. I have friends everywhere. I have men friends...lots and lots of 'em! In Virginia I had one male friend in whose company I could find myself on a semi-regular basis. But here...well, for lack of a less crass terminology, I have my very own man-harem. Now, certainly that title is not meant to encompass a lewd connotation in any way. But I am, for sure, surrounded by 'my boys' once again.
Romance has worked its way back into my life despite my best efforts to block it out, ignore or avoid it. And for the first time in my life it is effortless. Completely effortless...
Today is February 13, 2007. Tomorrow is, for many people I know, a completely hateful "holiday." Valentine's day marrs the senses with a feeling of inequity if you find yourself without a paramour and for those who do, by and large the prom-night pressure of the thing usually spoils it.
But for those who, somehow, are wise enough to hold to the idea that spontanaety and an unrehearsed observance of the holiday is wisest, something really terriffic has the chance to transpire.
Allan and I sat on the couch last night as we do most Monday nights these days. We are fans of the show 24, but for different reasons. He for the explosions and plot twists, and I for the fact that I view the plotline from the point of view of a former Washington, DC insider. Either way, we are both enraptured by and ensconced in the thing for the whole hour, or two as the case was last night.
I had come over early because I wanted to cook Allan dinner. I really miss cooking since I'm no longer in my home in Virginia and well...you know what they say about the way to a man's heart. :0)
Allan has become a strange and beautiful blessing in my life. We have such a normal and easygoing relationship with one another. I offered to cook him dinner, honestly, forgetting the whole proximity that last night's date had to Valentine's Day. My birthday is Friday, the 16th, so every year, I usually just ignore the Valentine's thing and skip straight to my little day. Convenient and effective!
I arrived with two bags of groceries and set straight about my task after borrowing adequate pots and pans from his neighbor Toni. In truth I was pretty impressed with how well I pulled off Tuscan Chicken Rollatini with asparagus and red bliss potatoes in his little under-stocked galley kitchen. In between chopping and cutting, Allan asked me if he could help in anyway. I asked that he pound the cutlets flat. He watched quizzically as I combined ingredients, heated pots, and searing pans in my now bare feet in his little kitchen. We sipped light beer and he snacked on pita and hummus while we waited for the meal to finish.
Now that our program was coming on, we settled in, in front of the entertainment center and clinked our forks. I nibbled an asparagus stalk as he cut into his chicken. He spoke easily until he put the food in his mouth when he stopped, chewed, looked at me, and in his very Allan way praised my cooking. Oh my gosh, this is bangin! I chuckled and thanked him, myself, cutting into my chicken. He was right, I outdid myself. In my own thoughts I congratulated myself and merely nodded my agreement.
After we finished our plates, I went to powder my nose during a commercial break. When I got back to the couch, snatched up the pillow I'd been cuddling with and went to sit back down. Allan whooped like I was about to kill something so I leaped back up, spun around a half dozen times looking like "what the heck's goin on here" and when I finally settled back into my skin, there he sat, with a sheepish expression on his face, in his hand he held a velvet heart-shaped-box of chocolate truffles he'd rescued from being sat upon.
My mind took a moment to registere exactly what was goin on. In truth my gut check reaction was that the scenario was so precious I nearly could have died. Bound and determined to keep my cool comportment I acted appropriately surprised and grateful. We shared one of the Dove truffles and I thanked him with a kiss, maybe two. So here I am, 28 (for the next 3 days) and I have a Valentine for the first time in so long I honestly cannot imagine.
I guess it is true, things like this come 'round when you are in no way expecting or looking for them. I'm a cliche and a statistic. Ha. But in truth... this easy-breezy valentine of mine has been the nicest by far. Who knew that not over processing, orchestrating and analyzing could be so nice. (yeh....I know)
So many parts of my life feel as though some other person, force (God) has the reins and I can do little but remain a spectator. I don't suspect that I am complaining entirely but it is, to say the least, highly intriguing.
My life has been an experiment in failure, railing against impossible odds and social climbing for most of the last seven years. But in the last few months since I abandoned my pursuit of a life and career in Washington, DC, my life has taken on a whole new feel. I have friends everywhere. I have men friends...lots and lots of 'em! In Virginia I had one male friend in whose company I could find myself on a semi-regular basis. But here...well, for lack of a less crass terminology, I have my very own man-harem. Now, certainly that title is not meant to encompass a lewd connotation in any way. But I am, for sure, surrounded by 'my boys' once again.
Romance has worked its way back into my life despite my best efforts to block it out, ignore or avoid it. And for the first time in my life it is effortless. Completely effortless...
Today is February 13, 2007. Tomorrow is, for many people I know, a completely hateful "holiday." Valentine's day marrs the senses with a feeling of inequity if you find yourself without a paramour and for those who do, by and large the prom-night pressure of the thing usually spoils it.
But for those who, somehow, are wise enough to hold to the idea that spontanaety and an unrehearsed observance of the holiday is wisest, something really terriffic has the chance to transpire.
Allan and I sat on the couch last night as we do most Monday nights these days. We are fans of the show 24, but for different reasons. He for the explosions and plot twists, and I for the fact that I view the plotline from the point of view of a former Washington, DC insider. Either way, we are both enraptured by and ensconced in the thing for the whole hour, or two as the case was last night.
I had come over early because I wanted to cook Allan dinner. I really miss cooking since I'm no longer in my home in Virginia and well...you know what they say about the way to a man's heart. :0)
Allan has become a strange and beautiful blessing in my life. We have such a normal and easygoing relationship with one another. I offered to cook him dinner, honestly, forgetting the whole proximity that last night's date had to Valentine's Day. My birthday is Friday, the 16th, so every year, I usually just ignore the Valentine's thing and skip straight to my little day. Convenient and effective!
I arrived with two bags of groceries and set straight about my task after borrowing adequate pots and pans from his neighbor Toni. In truth I was pretty impressed with how well I pulled off Tuscan Chicken Rollatini with asparagus and red bliss potatoes in his little under-stocked galley kitchen. In between chopping and cutting, Allan asked me if he could help in anyway. I asked that he pound the cutlets flat. He watched quizzically as I combined ingredients, heated pots, and searing pans in my now bare feet in his little kitchen. We sipped light beer and he snacked on pita and hummus while we waited for the meal to finish.
Now that our program was coming on, we settled in, in front of the entertainment center and clinked our forks. I nibbled an asparagus stalk as he cut into his chicken. He spoke easily until he put the food in his mouth when he stopped, chewed, looked at me, and in his very Allan way praised my cooking. Oh my gosh, this is bangin! I chuckled and thanked him, myself, cutting into my chicken. He was right, I outdid myself. In my own thoughts I congratulated myself and merely nodded my agreement.
After we finished our plates, I went to powder my nose during a commercial break. When I got back to the couch, snatched up the pillow I'd been cuddling with and went to sit back down. Allan whooped like I was about to kill something so I leaped back up, spun around a half dozen times looking like "what the heck's goin on here" and when I finally settled back into my skin, there he sat, with a sheepish expression on his face, in his hand he held a velvet heart-shaped-box of chocolate truffles he'd rescued from being sat upon.
My mind took a moment to registere exactly what was goin on. In truth my gut check reaction was that the scenario was so precious I nearly could have died. Bound and determined to keep my cool comportment I acted appropriately surprised and grateful. We shared one of the Dove truffles and I thanked him with a kiss, maybe two. So here I am, 28 (for the next 3 days) and I have a Valentine for the first time in so long I honestly cannot imagine.
I guess it is true, things like this come 'round when you are in no way expecting or looking for them. I'm a cliche and a statistic. Ha. But in truth... this easy-breezy valentine of mine has been the nicest by far. Who knew that not over processing, orchestrating and analyzing could be so nice. (yeh....I know)
posted by Odessa78 | 10:07 AM
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