Requiem unposted version

Requiem

This blog is dedicated to C. Anderson. No one will ever read it, I don't intend to publicize it...it's just here.

Someone told me that you were not going to be part of the thing I identify you most with anymore. Well, no they didn't actually TELL me. I read it. Several times in fact, in press release after press release after blog posting after Myspace bulletin.

It's a strange concept to me, you see. For I remember the very first night we met, the very first words we spoke and I remember holding my breath with excitement and delight the first time I saw you walk up my driveway to hand me promotional materials (I still have the box they came in)...for I had been acquired by your band. Kicking and screaming.

I remember an e-mail on a cool October afternoon announcing I was "on board." I distinctly felt my guts say, "Hell, no, not this again." I remember the first time I realized...I was safe with you and yours.

I remember CBGBs, recording over my 25th Birthday in Waldorf, Maryland, I remember road trips to Connecticut, nights at the Frat house in Long Island. I recall, fondly, practices off Route 46 and the night I told you all I was leaving for Washington in a week. I remember our one and only fight, I remember the sincerest apologies from us both. I remember laughing more than I remember worrying. I remember nearly killing a roadie from Wakefield for smoking "you-know-what" in your bedroom.

I want you to know that though my sincere prayer for you is that you wake from the Peter Pan identity you cling to...I will never forget you as you were, as you have been, as you one day promised you would be.

You see...the thing you did for me was recognize me. You saw the diamond that had been roughed up, you knew its value and you pursued it with vigor.

Sir... I have the open doors I have because I was brave enough to follow my heart and your invitation to step out of myself and into the world as it was ready to receive me.

My dear brother I pray for you to wake up out of your musical dream, awaken to all God has called you to become and I pray, oh Sweet Heaven, it gives you your wish...but I promise, you'll never "Sprout" wings living like this. So embrace your true age, and know that with it, wisdom will be profound. Live so you can be proud of your track record, and record tracks in kind.

I may never know what happened but I've seen the inside of the T the P and the R... and I don't know how it can possibly go on existing without you in it. I cannot fathom the pain but if my words mean anything I pray you hear me say Hope with abandon, pray with ambition and thrive in your grown up identity. It's time to grow up Peter Pan....and that's okay. I cannot wait to meet you on this side of the fence when you finally cross over.